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Is It Wicked Not To Care?
‘Ooh, Everton’s third best central midfielder from last season has signed a new deal. That’s nice.’ Surely that’s how yesterday’s news of a new contract for Ross Barkley would have been greeted in the...
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C.R.E.A.M
Lumme guv’nor. They’ve only ruddy well gone and done it. Everton have stared at the dealer with twinkling Paul Newman eyes, took a drag on their cigar, smiled wryly and pushed all their chips across...
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Atsu Picks You
After no updates all summer there’s a new This Is Not Football laptop and a boring train ride every morning, so there’s every chance there could be regular drivel on here for a while. There’s no...
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Christian A
Roberto Martinez, like the keenest of anglers, keeps showing that a bit of patience is required to eventually land your, er, fish. This time the soccer salmon he has snagged, using a combination of...
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Soccer!
Let’s clear up the most important thing, the elephant in the room. How come Chelsea don’t (yet) sing of their young Belgian goalkeeper ‘Are we not men? We are Thibaut!’? Unless of course we missed it...
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Me White Noise
International breaks are shite. We may have mentioned this before. Everyone’s scraping round for club-related ‘content’ in lieu of actual games and there’s only so many times you can read interviews...
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Everton and Ting
Hey, anybody there? Hello? Been a while, hasn’t it? It’s poor form to not keep your blog updated like, but when you have been busy with a new media engagement, well, something has to give. We can’t...
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A Hazy Shade of Jeff Winter
Why do disappointing rappers incur far more ire than the countless dull rock and indy bands at Glastonbury? And to paraphrase the greatest Viz letter ever, how come it’s ok for Kanye to scream ‘the N...
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Go Set A Smallman
‘Maureen. Maureen! Have you seen this big string of piss? Drawing parallels between a summer hiatus in updating his little-read online blather-sheet and the 55 year wait for a follow up to Harper Lee’s...
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The Lovely Stones
All this back and forth between Roberto Martinez and Jose Mourinho – can’t do the accent – makes us recall that famous incident where Groucho Marx asked a lady at a dinner party whether she would sleep...
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